A friend named R. sent us an e-mail yesterday, lamenting the fact that fellow Army wives in her neighborhood seem to be overly concerned about other people's business.

She talked about how rumors run rampant about every little thing, and how small things can be blown out of proportion.

We've all experienced this in one way or another. I had a friend once who had unexpected surgery. Soon, the neighborhood was abuzz with the "news" that she'd had an abortion. The rumor even reached her deployed husband, who luckily knew it wasn't true.

Another woman I knew took it upon herself to call other spouses and repeat every rumor she heard about their husbands, who were away training in another state for four months.

R. feels like the rumor-mongering has gotten even worse lately, and she wonders why.

"I guess I thought that as 'Army Wives' we were supposed to stick together and have each others' backs, provided that we aren't covering up for the one person in EVERY neighborhood whose boyfriend moves in the day after her husband deploys," she wrote. "However, there seems to be a lost sisterhood between us lately, are we soo busy sticking our noses where they don't belong and talking about each other behind our backs that we can't take a moment to care about our neighbors?"

Excellent point, R. Excellent point.

Anyone else out there feel the same way?

R says it very well and I bet she's a great neighbor/sister. Unfortunately, I've seen that same type of behavior outside the military too. I've always wished that women - in general - shared more of a feeling of sisterhood. If every woman out there refused to cheat with a married man in the name of sisterhood, infidelity could be cut in half. I'm very grateful to have a small band of "sisters" and I guess that'll have to be good enough.

I think you're right, Carolmac. For whatever reason, women have this huge capacity to love and be loved, yet at the same time we can be downright mean.

R makes a very good point. Military wives can be the "world's biggest sorority"... sororities can go either way, full of deceit and lies or can be full of true sisterhood. I stumbled onto a group of military wives who were the gossiping type which eventually led me to you all... whom I consider some of my closest friends (none of whom I have ever met). While I would trade those ladies in a heartbeat, I would not trade you guys for anything.

Babygirl - glad we could be here for you!

I have 19 years as an Army wife and sadly the one thing that never changes from post to post is women who have nothing better to do in their lives than to make others' miserable with their nosey attitudes and petty comments. My mother went through the same thing 45 years ago as a Navy wife. Whether it is in the neighborhood or at the unit, it never changes. I think the only way to change this behavior is to refuse to participate in the gossiping and rumors. Change the subject, refuse to be the one who listens to all that crud. Compliment one another and encourage one another. Above all, remember that everyone makes mistakes and needs a friend sometimes.

Good advice, kinters_girl. I have asked people to stop calling me, or stop telling me things. I also have a very strict rule where I don't repeat the rumors about anyone in his unit to my husband, unless it's something that could put someone in danger or the rumor is something that could severely affect the unit. Most rumors and gossip are so petty and/or ridiculous that it makes me laugh. And I think you hit it right on the end when you said some people have nothing better to do. I also think the competitive nature of the military adds to the problem.